Splat

It's just been one of those days. But due to the grace of God and a little yoga, I managed not to throttle anyone. Yet.

I just arrived home from my marathon day of meetings and annoyances. I spent four hours composing and editing an e-mail dissertation opining many subjects, not the least of which is that I am always right. The sooner everyone realizes and acknowledges that, the happier we'll all be, k?

After six or seven hours on the edge, work Jennifer (whom we'll heretofore call Pam to separate her from cousin-in-law Jennifer, and because she looks like Pam from "The Office") and I escaped to our self-proclaimed office yoga studio (a classroom with a huge projection TV where we spread out our mats and sweat through downward facing dog for 45 minutes) to relax and stretch. I like that Pam has decided to join me in my quest for zen and flexibility. It motivates me not to cheat in my poses or throw anything at Bethany, the perky girl from the yoga video. Bethany is less than 10% body fat and wears a do-rag over her uneven pigtails. How can I not hate her?

Luckily I logged three miles on the treadmill this morning before I went to work since I didn't make it home early enough for a third workout. I really wanted to since today I've eaten the equivalent of a small vending machine: granola bar, Reese's cup, and potato chips. All washed down with gallons of diet coke. But when you eat all three meals at your desk, what do you expect? Maybe Pam will bring in a George Foreman grill and make me a sandwich, unless Michael Scott has burned his foot in there.

I welcomed a new group at work tonight (which I LOVE) and that put me in a much better mood, until I left the office and face planted on the asphalt. After looking around to ensure that no one witnessed my lack of grace and checking to see if my laptop sustained any damage, I realized that my right knee was bleeding, and that I ruined my favorite pants from Express. Curses! I'm guessing patches on dress pants aren't a good look, right? My skinned palms, knees and egos will heal, but my $80 pants will not survive.



You know you're getting old when you trip over your own two feet stepping off a six-inch curb and anticipate the body aches that will surely come in the morning. I also may have purchased a fanny pack tonight. But I totally need it to store my keys and camera during races because my running gear doesn't have pockets. I may also need it for the Ben Gay and false teeth in my near future. I'm a bedazzled sweatshirt and a pair of gold easy spirits away from becoming my grandmother.

Luckily tomorrow is an awesome work-from-home day, so I just have to wake up and pick up my laptop. No shower required! It's been a very productive day, wipeouts and arguments notwithstanding.

Let's all get some sleep now, shall we? I'm slumber party giddy and punch drunk.

Sugar... oh, honey, honey

Taylor and Chance have planned for months to spend Spring Break with me. So I went to the world's largest retailer after church on Sunday to procure $75 of sugary snacks.

Since I'm working from home this week I discovered that my home office is way too close to the kitchen. I spent Monday afternoon chowing on cookies and Doritos and chugging Diet Coke. Taylor got a better offer last night to spend a few days with some friends in Branson, so the boys decided not to come to Siloam. I got stuck with fattening snacks.

Thankfully I had a luncheon in the Fort today, so I loaded up the honey buns, spaghettios, chocolate chip cakes, reece's puffs, ranch Doritos, trix and code red mountain dew and took them to Brad's. An empty pantry equals an easy diet.

Tomorrow is day two of working from home, but without the distracting snacks.

The most exciting part of my day? I found an awesome pink polka dot ironing board cover at JT Maxx. Every chick needs one of those, right?

25 Things...

Several people have tagged me on Facebook to do this list, but I thought I'd post it here instead.

25 Random Things You May or May Not Know about Me

1. I love to play "Rock Band" with my nephews and can score a perfect 100% singing "Wanted Dead or Alive." I'm that good.
2. I am obsessed with celebrities and talk about their lives like I know them personally. I subscribe to both "People" and "Us Weekly" so that I can keep up with how many kids Brangelina have this week.
3. I once ate an entire box of Krispy Kreme donuts in two days. By myself.
4. When I look in the mirror after a shower and see the hail damage on my thighs, it makes me want to throw up.
5. I would have married 5 or so of my ex-boyfriends if they would've asked. Thankfully God protects the stupid from themselves.
6. When I got my first portable cell phone, I talked to my mom and my niece every day after work. I really, really miss talking to both of them.
7. My musical taste is so varied that I have everything from Miley Cyrus to Ozzy Osborne to George Jones on my iPod.
8. I love to read. I own hundreds of books and re-read books all the time. Not the classics... romance novels.
9. I watch way too much TV. I own two DVRs and have 29 shows on my series record list.
10. I cannot get a pedicure or go to the doctor without first shaving my legs.
11. I drove the getaway car in college for what could be legally construed as criminal mischief.
12. There are 5,172 songs in my iTunes library.
13. I used to have a crush on my friend the lawyer, but I'm kinda over it. And I realize he wasn't that good of a friend.
14. I never thought I'd be 36 and unmarried, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
15. If I had my life to live over again, I would have chosen a career as a sideline reporter for the NFL.
16. I need to buy new pants because mine are too big and that makes me really, really happy.
17. They posted and mailed my diploma before I rewrote my master's thesis, so I never fixed it or put a copy in the library.
18. I drink way too much Diet Coke... 8-12 cans a day most days.
19. I can watch football non-stop for days on end, but I don't like baseball at all. Or pro basketball.
20. I don't like Oprah. Or any of the books she recommends.
21. I have never owned a car for more than four years with the exception of my last vehicle, the TrailBlazer that I had for 5.5 years. (which is why)
22. There have only been six months in the past 20 years that I, or my parents, didn't have a car payment on my vehicle.
23. My three dream dinner guests, living or dead, are George Bush (#41), Tom Brady, and the Apostle Paul.
24. I am a very good cook, working my way to great.
25. I own every episode of "Friends" on DVD and I kick butt on the trivia game.

I'm not tagging any of you, but feel free to post your list on your blog... or on mine.

Stay warm, peeps!

Fillings... whoa, whoa, whoa

After my brief hiatus in bed with a sinus infection (which I won't detail... you're welcome), I went back to the office today. For about an hour.

I had the first of my many trips to the dentist this year to the tune of two and a half hours and 284 bucks. (Yes, I have dental insurance... that was my 20%). Granted, my jaw still hurts from all the tugging and prodding and holding open, but my teeth do look better. My new white fillings are fab, and I can't wait to get my new porcelain crown. One section done... three to go! I'm really happy with my new dentist, but his assistant his about as gentle as a Nazi prison guard.

And since I'm wearing a temporary crown for the next couple of weeks, I'm supposed to avoid food that's sticky and crunchy. Yeah, that'll happen.

This afternoon I made my maiden voyage to Mama Fu's for a lunch meeting. The food was tasty (think Pei Wei), but my shrimp noodles were so spicy that I drank 12 diet cokes. Seriously. I was waiting for the waitress to ask me if she could just run the line from the soda fountain right into my mouth. I had to stop and go to the bathroom between Bentonville and Rogers. And trust me, non-NWA'ers, that's not very far.

That's all. My life is ridiculously dull, but some of you complain when I don't tell you what's going on. Nada.

But, it is a very special day because it's my pal Susan's birthday. Happy birthday! Come back from Texas.

Heaven in a can

After a carbonated-free month of June, I've officially stopped my Diet Coke sabbatical. Granted, I didn't have a pre- and post-bone density test, but I really had no positive results by sacrificing my beloved beverage.

So I'm doing my best not to drink more than a couple a day, but I'm drinking Diet Coke again. And it tastes yummy.