Splat

It's just been one of those days. But due to the grace of God and a little yoga, I managed not to throttle anyone. Yet.

I just arrived home from my marathon day of meetings and annoyances. I spent four hours composing and editing an e-mail dissertation opining many subjects, not the least of which is that I am always right. The sooner everyone realizes and acknowledges that, the happier we'll all be, k?

After six or seven hours on the edge, work Jennifer (whom we'll heretofore call Pam to separate her from cousin-in-law Jennifer, and because she looks like Pam from "The Office") and I escaped to our self-proclaimed office yoga studio (a classroom with a huge projection TV where we spread out our mats and sweat through downward facing dog for 45 minutes) to relax and stretch. I like that Pam has decided to join me in my quest for zen and flexibility. It motivates me not to cheat in my poses or throw anything at Bethany, the perky girl from the yoga video. Bethany is less than 10% body fat and wears a do-rag over her uneven pigtails. How can I not hate her?

Luckily I logged three miles on the treadmill this morning before I went to work since I didn't make it home early enough for a third workout. I really wanted to since today I've eaten the equivalent of a small vending machine: granola bar, Reese's cup, and potato chips. All washed down with gallons of diet coke. But when you eat all three meals at your desk, what do you expect? Maybe Pam will bring in a George Foreman grill and make me a sandwich, unless Michael Scott has burned his foot in there.

I welcomed a new group at work tonight (which I LOVE) and that put me in a much better mood, until I left the office and face planted on the asphalt. After looking around to ensure that no one witnessed my lack of grace and checking to see if my laptop sustained any damage, I realized that my right knee was bleeding, and that I ruined my favorite pants from Express. Curses! I'm guessing patches on dress pants aren't a good look, right? My skinned palms, knees and egos will heal, but my $80 pants will not survive.



You know you're getting old when you trip over your own two feet stepping off a six-inch curb and anticipate the body aches that will surely come in the morning. I also may have purchased a fanny pack tonight. But I totally need it to store my keys and camera during races because my running gear doesn't have pockets. I may also need it for the Ben Gay and false teeth in my near future. I'm a bedazzled sweatshirt and a pair of gold easy spirits away from becoming my grandmother.

Luckily tomorrow is an awesome work-from-home day, so I just have to wake up and pick up my laptop. No shower required! It's been a very productive day, wipeouts and arguments notwithstanding.

Let's all get some sleep now, shall we? I'm slumber party giddy and punch drunk.

Just two wild and crazy gals

So my night turned out to be a bit disappointing. After some power shopping, Alisa and I ended up at Powerhouse, which was a decent steak, but certainly not the haute cuisine that I expected. Steak in Mountain Home? Much, much better.

We had plans to hit the piano bar afterwards (which I love), but due to the tornado warning and ensuing deluge, we waded water to our shins (I kid you not) to the car and decided to return, albeit slowly, back to the hotel.

So now I'm soaked and tired. Guess I'm too old to party hardy after all. The most important thing is that we got to spend time together and visit. Besides, all the weather preempted the Pam and Jim wedding on 'The Office,' so I would have been frustrated, anyway. At least I can watch it tomorrow via InDemand and not have to listen to the weather watchers when I should be listening to Michael Scott spew some nuggets of wisdom at Niagra Falls.

Bedtime at 10 p.m. Jen, that means you and your man friend are off the hook.

TGIF!

Signed, sealed, delivered... I am so NOT yours

"How do you tell someone it's over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary?"
~Angela Martin, "The Office"

For once, I identify with the tightly wound Angela. I mean, I've never sent a notarized letter, but I'm near needing some sort of restraining order. How many texts do I ignore before he gets the message? Seriously, if you want to get on my good side, don't text me at 7 a.m. on a Sunday. I am not awake. It does not endear you to me in any way.

Today was the first Monday I've worked in over a month, and this marks the first full week in nearly six. Plus five trips to Rogers. But I got a lot done today. I love my new office. I was turning into one of those bosses... the ones who are out of touch and don't know what people do on a daily basis. Our admin is on vacation this week and today was eye-opening. I mean, I knew she was all kinds of awesome, but I had no idea all of the junk that she deals with so I don't have to. I am humbled. I don't want to answer the phone anymore. No, I don't know where your class is. Where's my diet coke?

I also realized today how not good it is that I'm within walking distance of Target and the mall. It's super convenient to run errands at lunch, but not good for the ol' checkbook.

Dad and V came up after work to treat me to a belated birthday dinner, then I introduced V to my beloved Promenade. I'm sure my Dad is not pleased.

I was uber lazy this weekend, but I did get to see the Texas fam on the 4th, and I'm hoping Jen updates her blog soon with the story about burying the 60 lb. dog in a plastic box full of ice and leaving him in the kitchen overnight. On her birthday. Please, please forgive me for laughing, but that makes my own birthday experience seem less painful. Sure, no one came to my party, but at least nothing died. Except perhaps my dignity.

Tomorrow's another busy day, then it's off to Tulsa for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Nanner's birthday. I walked four miles tonight in preparation.

And Christy, in case you're reading this, I promise to update the other blog soon. I'm praying for guidance!

Oh, and is anyone else sick of hearing about Michael Jackson? Over the weekend, Steve McNair was murdered, there is a serial killer loose in South Carolina, Roger Federer made tennis history, Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska, and our President is decreasing our nuclear capacity, yet Michael Jackson was the subject of the first ten stories on GMA this morning. People, let's get some perspective! He was talented, yet a freak. Let's not canonize him anytime soon.

I hope you dance

Given my propensity to write my feelings rather than speak them (hence the blog obsession), I suppose it should come as no surprise that, after seven months of back and forth with LB, I decided to profess my affection via a cleverly worded and kitschy card. Thus "top 10 reasons why I think you're awesome" was penned and transcribed into Hallmark's finest.

I'm not quite sure why the greeting card folks don't develop a new genre. Somehow neither "thanks for being my friend" nor "I will always love you" seemed quite right to commemorate the birthday of my friend/crush. I couldn't find a "it's been seven months, grow a pair" card, so I settled for Amanda's suggestion, a cute little pic of a little boy and girl holding corn dogs at a carnival (no Freudian comments here) with the tagline, "You're my favorite amusement" and the simple inside sentiment of "happy birthday."

But that didn't seem personal enough, so I added my own little list, complete with special memories from the past seven months. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Total Jim and Pam teapot moment here. The first nine of 'em were sarcastic, but #1 was "Because, let's face it, you're hot."

Let's just say that dinner was interesting. Our friendship went up about fourteen levels due to some serious soul baring. By both of us. I'm pretty sure the waiter thought one of us is dying.

The bad news is that LB has a date tomorrow night. With a girl that he met after I left last week (the night I wouldn't dance with him). But in a bold and potentially idiotic move, I gave him the card anyway. I handed it to him (along with his gift), told him to read it in the spirit in which it was intended, and drove away. And he hasn't called, which means he's mulling it over.

Damn you, Jim Halpert.

Christmas list recap

Since I have a stat counter on this website, I get some decent info on who's reading my blog (stalkers, take heart... I can't tell individually who you are, just where you're from). Last week I had one person who read 97 entries on my blog. So I decided to look back and see what I've written.

It amused me see what random thoughts I've had in the past year. Then I stumbled across last year's Christmas list. So here's the update:

• Tom Brady in a big, red bow (and nothing else!) - nope on that one, but after reading the interview in this month's Esquire, I'm convinced he's a wank
• Tickets to Super Bowl XLIII, where the Cowboys play the Pats - Pats made it, Cowboys did not
• A private Bon Jovi concert, where Jon sings my favorite song to me, "Bed of Roses" (it has that great line... "tonight I won't be alone, but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely") - so it wasn't private, but he still sang "Bed of Roses" and touched my hand on April 17
• A red Hermes Birkin bag - no Birkin, but two Coaches and a DB zebra bag
• One week with no news from Britney, Lindsey, or Angelina - um, don't think that happened
• A trip to Italy with someone tall, dark and handsome - next May with Joe and Estella! yay!
• Lasik eye surgery - nope
• Liposuction - nope
• A good coach for the Hogs - YES
• A 42" flat screen TV for the living room - yes, a beautiful Philips ambilight in time for the Superbowl
• A facial (never had one!) - not yet, but lots of massages and pedis
• Season 3 of "The Office" on DVD - Jen had to take it back, because I bought it for myself
• Sirius satellite radio - still no
• "Sixteen Candles" on DVD - yes
• Saute pan from Williams Sonoma - YES, with the GC Lon and Jen bought me
• A really amazing new job in 2008 - YES!!!

So here's my list before Christmas '08....
• Winning season for the Hogs
• Facial
• Season 4 of "The Office" on DVD
• Le Creuset stock pot
• A really fantastically great first date with a great guy

I heart Jim Halpert

So today, after my Rogers meeting, I headed up to Pinnacle Promenade (as I often do) for a bit of shopping and I couldn't take the smell, so I had to do takeout from PF Chang's. When I got home and pulled out my rice, here's what it said. And it made me laugh so hard... not sure why.



My pal Alisa called me yesterday to confirm my hunch that I have a cheeseball life. Yes, I shop a lot. And yes, I eat a lot. But when Banana Republic is having a sale and I'm craving kung pao shrimp, what's a girl gonna do?

The good news is that "The Office" is back on, and I do love me some Jim Halpert. But I am sad that Aussie's gone and the Colonel managed to to evade the bottom three on "Idol."

So after my Chinese food, I opened my fortune cookie, and this is what it said: "The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly!" I hope that's true, but perhaps it was referring to my seeing Jon Bon Jovi TWICE next week.

Movies that never get old

In a nod to "The Office," I'm interested to know what five movies you'd want with you if you were stranded on a desert island (AKA movies you can watch over and over). Here are mine:

1. Love Actually
2. Sweet Home Alabama
3. Fools Rush In
4. Office Space
5. Christmas Vacation

Ok, comment what your five movies would be.

Lori's Christmas List

Only 20 more days 'til Christmas, so here's my list for Santa:

• Tom Brady in a big, red bow (and nothing else!)
• Tickets to Super Bowl XLIII, where the Cowboys play the Pats
• A private Bon Jovi concert, where Jon sings my favorite song to me, "Bed of Roses" (it has that great line... "tonight I won't be alone, but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely")
• A red Hermes Birkin bag
• One week with no news from Britney, Lindsey, or Angelina
• A trip to Italy with someone tall, dark and handsome
• Lasik eye surgery
• Liposuction
• A good coach for the Hogs
• A 42" flat screen TV for the living room
• A facial (never had one!)
• Season 3 of "The Office" on DVD
• Sirius satellite radio
• "Sixteen Candles" on DVD
• Saute pan from Williams Sonoma
• A really amazing new job in 2008

I've been really good this year!

Around the world in 96 hours

First, the colossal event... how 'bout them Hogs?!? My comments about the game are as follows:
1. Darren McFadden had a Heisman-worthy performance. He's the best player in college football, especially when you consider that he plays for a less-than-stellar team. He and Tebow should finish 1/2 simply because they play in the nation's best conference. The Big 12's best player is not as great as either of these guys. Anyone remember Jason White?
2. Where the heck has Peyton Hillis been all year? Wowzers.
3. C. Dick played a heck of a game. Good for him.
4. Houston Dale showed after his well-timed time out why so many folks are praying for his demise... that cocky grin he showcased to the world. Have fun packin' for Waco.

I'm not sure what was more exhausting, that game or driving around the world for the past few days. I spent Thanksgiving day at Sorne and Vance's, eating turkey and egg rolls. Then I headed over to my aunt and uncle's to visit Mom's fam. Thursday night I watched "The Office" and went to bed at 9 p.m.

Yesterday I got up early to meet Dad and the rest of the fam at the Village Inn. Then I went to pick up the kids and head to Hartford to watch the game. Brady, Chance and Ave had their own game in the backyard. Brady and Chance "versed" Avery, and the scary thing is that, even though it was two against one and they're both two years older, Avery scored on them several times.

Wyatt, Peyton and Hope took a bath. Peyton was pointing at Hope and thinking "One of these things is not like the other..."

Chance and Hope got a new dog, Rocky. It weighs about two pounds and kept me up all night last night whining.

Forget the Hogs, this was the big game in town.

I love the smell of beets in the morning

Evidently nerdy is the new sexy. Yes, fellow "Office" fanatics, it's not Jim in People's "Sexiest Man Alive 2007," but Dwight P. Shrute. Rainn Wilson is indeed on the list, as are Masi Oka from Heroes and Zachary Levi from Chuck (who was MUCH sexier on Less Than Perfect). Also included? Dorky accountant Henry from Ugly Betty.

The sexiest man alive? Matt Damon. Where's Tom Brady on this list?

It's beginning to look a lot like... autumn

Although I'd grown quite sick of the rain, the crisp fall air that followed was quite welcome. Last weekend I got to perform my annual fall acknowledgement ritual, wearing a sweatshirt to a football game. And today, one of our student orgs had a chili cookoff in the room across from the office, and the building smelled like chili all day. I'm not quite sure what it is about autumn, but when the first leaf falls, I feel the need to put on a turtleneck and grate some cheese for a bowl of chili.

Today was the first day since I've lived in Conway that it felt too cold to get out of bed, so I snuggled under my down comforter after hitting the snooze button twice. My standard morning routine includes standing in the shower, washing my hair (you're welcome for the visual, by the way) while mentally trying to decide what to wear to work. This morning I realized that it was time for long sleeves and socks, so I perused my closet for a yummy turtleneck. Then I realized that all of my winter shoes were still in boxes.

I also realized, during one of my many daydreams at work, that there were only two paydays left 'til Christmas. So I made a budget and a list. And I realized that I have no ideas for presents. So now I'm stressed.

And I'm trying to decide what's on my list. Aside from my major wishes--world peace, Super Bowl ring for the Cowboys, and another kid for Brangelina--I'm at a loss. Granted, I'm lusting for an iPhone, but I don't think all of my gift givers put together can afford that. One of my coworkers just bought one, and she let me play with it today. Oh, how my heart longs for an iPhone.

It occurs to me that there's nothing that I need, and little that I want. I usually buy anything that I really want. And that makes me a lucky little brat.

Ok, all of you avid readers. What's on your Christmas list? While I wait for your response, I think I'll watch "The Office" and smell my new caramel wallflower from Bath & Body Works. Smells like fall!

If you are obsessed with "The Office"....

Okay, all of you Dwight Shrute fans. Check this out...

Football and Dwight P. Shrute

For the third weekend in a row, I've been very unproductive. This weekend, however, I did manage to make it out of the house. I got up at the crack o' dawn yesterday to go watch Brady play football. His team's really good; they're undefeated, and yesterday they played the other premier team in the league, and ended in a 18-18 tie.

Here's a video from yesterday. Brady's the QB (#7), and I call to your attention the flagrant and very illegal tackling by the other team.

Other than that, I've watched a lot of football (hooray for the Hogs, Pats and Cowboys) and the entire second season of "The Office" thanks to Lonnie who loaned me seasons two and three. That show makes me laugh out loud.

It's Homecoming week, so we get to wear jeans to work on Tuesday due to "Paint the Town Purple." How very sad that's the most exciting thing I have to report.