Love, pain, and the whole crazy thing

Sometimes I wish I were more like a man when it comes to relationships.

I'm not saying I'd like to juggle multiple dates on the same night. I'm not even saying I'd forget their names. I'm just wishing I could treat relationships like men do. Disposable. Forgettable. Interchangeable.

In season 7 of "Friends," Rachel is trying to decide if she should tell her assistant Tag she's attracted to him since he's just broken up with his girlfriend. She asks her friends how long one should wait before asking out someone who's just broken up with a significant other.

"A month," Phoebe says. "I'd say three or four," Monica says.

"A half hour," responds Joey.

Because really, shouldn't you wait out a relationship the same amount of time it takes to wait to swim after eating?

Sometimes men seem to have the answers. Let's move on, forget it, and prepare for something new.

Why should we pine for men who aren't pining for us?

I'm tired of being the girl with the broken heart. I'm ready to start testing the relationship waters.

And yeah, there are sharks there, but aren't the sharks you expect kind of better than the sweet fish you don't?

25 Things...

Several people have tagged me on Facebook to do this list, but I thought I'd post it here instead.

25 Random Things You May or May Not Know about Me

1. I love to play "Rock Band" with my nephews and can score a perfect 100% singing "Wanted Dead or Alive." I'm that good.
2. I am obsessed with celebrities and talk about their lives like I know them personally. I subscribe to both "People" and "Us Weekly" so that I can keep up with how many kids Brangelina have this week.
3. I once ate an entire box of Krispy Kreme donuts in two days. By myself.
4. When I look in the mirror after a shower and see the hail damage on my thighs, it makes me want to throw up.
5. I would have married 5 or so of my ex-boyfriends if they would've asked. Thankfully God protects the stupid from themselves.
6. When I got my first portable cell phone, I talked to my mom and my niece every day after work. I really, really miss talking to both of them.
7. My musical taste is so varied that I have everything from Miley Cyrus to Ozzy Osborne to George Jones on my iPod.
8. I love to read. I own hundreds of books and re-read books all the time. Not the classics... romance novels.
9. I watch way too much TV. I own two DVRs and have 29 shows on my series record list.
10. I cannot get a pedicure or go to the doctor without first shaving my legs.
11. I drove the getaway car in college for what could be legally construed as criminal mischief.
12. There are 5,172 songs in my iTunes library.
13. I used to have a crush on my friend the lawyer, but I'm kinda over it. And I realize he wasn't that good of a friend.
14. I never thought I'd be 36 and unmarried, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
15. If I had my life to live over again, I would have chosen a career as a sideline reporter for the NFL.
16. I need to buy new pants because mine are too big and that makes me really, really happy.
17. They posted and mailed my diploma before I rewrote my master's thesis, so I never fixed it or put a copy in the library.
18. I drink way too much Diet Coke... 8-12 cans a day most days.
19. I can watch football non-stop for days on end, but I don't like baseball at all. Or pro basketball.
20. I don't like Oprah. Or any of the books she recommends.
21. I have never owned a car for more than four years with the exception of my last vehicle, the TrailBlazer that I had for 5.5 years. (which is why)
22. There have only been six months in the past 20 years that I, or my parents, didn't have a car payment on my vehicle.
23. My three dream dinner guests, living or dead, are George Bush (#41), Tom Brady, and the Apostle Paul.
24. I am a very good cook, working my way to great.
25. I own every episode of "Friends" on DVD and I kick butt on the trivia game.

I'm not tagging any of you, but feel free to post your list on your blog... or on mine.

Stay warm, peeps!

Fenway, Steinway, Dumb chick

So tonight, I was eating dinner beside my new friends from New York. They're really nice and friendly (totally not the New Yawk stereotype), and we were discussing that our flights are about the same time tomorrow. One of 'em has a total NYC accent. Imagine Janice from "Friends."

NYC: "Wanna share a cab to the airport?
Me: "Actually, I want to stop at Fenway on the way."
NYC: "Oh. I've heard of that. Fenway Hall, the famous concert hall?"
Me: "No, Fenway Park. The famous baseball field where the Red Sox play."
NYC: "Ah. I thought a Fenway was a type of piano."
Me: "No, that's a Steinway."

See, just because she's from New York doesn't mean she's smarter than me. Granted, she probably didn't get lost on the way back to the hotel, but she knows less about sports.

Some random thoughts

Last Wednesday my dad, my brother, my nephew, and I were sitting at the McDonald's play place, and we talked about last week's "Sexiest Men Alive" list. In the interest of fairness, I asked them who would be on their female list. Beyonce, Eva Mendes, Jennifer Lopez... turns out they like ethnic chicks with large cabooses.

So I'm watching the Giants debacle this afternoon, and I'm thinking that the Citizen Watches execs are probably not too happy with the marketing folks as their expensive commercial, "Unstoppable, that's what Eli Manning is..." airs right after young Manning throws a pick that's returned for a touchdown. Ouch. That's bad product placement. For those of you keeping score, the G-Men got trounced 41-10 by the Minnesota Vikings WITHOUT Adrian Peterson. Anybody want to buy a watch?

I started my annual house rearrangement/holiday decoration this afternoon. I've got four trees up and three to go. But don't worry, only one of them is taller than three feet (that's about the size of your tree, Memaw Scrooge). Pics to come.

Turns out I'm not the only one who loves the Thanksgiving Friends episodes. Entertainment Weekly did a great story about all the turkey episodes. Who can forget the Geller bowl?

I've managed to watch four of the eight hours of stuff on my DVR that I've missed since Tuesday afternoon. I hope the writers' strike ends soon. Otherwise, I may have to decorate some more trees. Or watch more movies. This afternoon I watched one of my holiday favorites, Love Actually. But it's not really Christmas until I watch Christmas Vacation. Nobody does the holidays like the Griswolds.