The long way home

Jen's probably the only one who cares, but I'll try to update my blog for the rest of the masses who might care about what's going on in my life.

I've been in Central Arkansas since Friday, and I got the brilliant idea to go home north by northwest this morning rather than my normal west then north route, which showcased the beautiful fall foliage but made my trip 4.5 hours from Little Rock to Siloam. It was a gorgeous drive, but by the time I got back to my beloved NWA, I napped through the entire Cowboys game. Turns out that wasn't such a tragedy.

To catch you up, I was a moron who gave myself a mere 24 hours to recover from anesthesia and being sliced open with a large knife, so I presided over a day-long meeting on Wednesday and marched into the very large home office of the world's largest retailer on Thursday to pretend that I'm a big girl with marketing prowess. Luckily both meetings went well and were very productive, but I was in pain for the whole two days that I pretended to be invincible. Sometimes the Superwoman cape feels a bit snug.

On Friday I stopped in Russellville to say hello to Alisa and Shauna before meeting my friend Erin for coffee in Conway to discuss politics, violence on college campuses and the need for responsible choices. Oh, and world peace. When you're getting ready for a pageant interview you have to work that in, right? Joe and I had dinner at Kobe on Friday evening (he brought me some gorgeous pink roses because he's amazing).

Yesterday I spent six hours talking to people from all over the state who want to be teachers. Okay, I talked to two. So it was a very long day, saved by the fact that two pals from the Center of Learning were there to catch me up on my former coworkers and eat lunch with me so I didn't look like such a loser. Then, last night, I went to dinner with my good friends Dave and Brent at one of my all-time favorite restaurants, Sonny Williams.

Now I'm home, punch drunk from the long nap and needing to do laundry. But at least inquiring minds no longer need to wonder what's new with me. Not much.

Balancing act

Life, like an ecosystem, is a delicate balance. Too much of any one thing throws the whole thing off. It's a series of give and take, this and that, and trying to keep all your balls in the air. While riding a unicycle. On roller skates. In the rain.

{Disclaimer: I made a "C" in each of my two science classes in college, so I'm not quite sure about the ecosystem analogy. But I'm sure Jen can correct me if I'm wrong. Or Lon can get out his "Science for dummies" book he reads to prepare to teach Biology.}

Perhaps this is the reason I have a love/hate relationship with traveling for work. I love that we have offices near friends and family. I hate that many of my trips are so tightly scheduled that I feel like the Pope. It would be much easier if I had a personal assistant who could call everyone and make them grateful for 15 minutes of Lori time.

In a few moments I'm leaving for Little Rock. My plan is to have dinner tonight with Lon, Jen, Huey, Dewie and Louie; coffee after that with Joe; a lunch meeting tomorrow for work; dinner tomorrow night with Brent and Dave after a work meeting at 5 p.m.; lunch on Tuesday with Alisa, Shauna and Amy; a Tuesday afternoon visit with Ashley and the twins; stop by the Fort Smith office to check on things; dinner with my grandmother; and Chance's baseball game at 7:30. After that I'll come back home in time to unpack and fall into bed, exhausted. Oh, and somewhere in that time I need to figure out how to get some work done.

Anyone else want a piece of me?

P.S. Dad, lest you feel left out, remember that I'll be seeing you for hours next weekend. Aren't you lucky?

{ last dance }

While I really haven't been in Conway long enough to form major attachments, it's still a little sad to be leaving. This week I've started experiencing all the "lasts" associated with a major life change. Last Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday of work. Last council meeting (and last time to take minutes... yeah!). Last boring and pointless spreadsheet (at least at this job). Turning off utilities, turning on utilities. Packing, packing, packing.

My boss has an all-day meeting in Little Rock on Friday, so tomorrow's our last day together. And while I won't miss most of the mindless drivel I've done for 10 months, I will miss her, because she's been completely awesome. I've learned a lot about managing with respect, grace and ethics from her.

Tomorrow my pal Estella is coming to spend the night, and we're meeting Joe at Mike's Place for dinner. Friday night I'm going to Little Rock to have dinner with Brent and Dave. And Sunday Joe's taking me to Michelangelo's for our farewell dinner/packing party reward.

You'd think as much as I change jobs and cities, I'd be used to this by now, but it's always hard to say goodbye, even if you know it's the right thing to do.

When I gave my notice at the rental place here, they informed me that, since I was breaking my lease, I'd forfeit my deposit. No problem. But then they told me that I was responsible for rent for the final two months if the place didn't re-rent during that time. They haven't shown it at all, so I've been freaking out. But when I called today, they've already rented it sight-unseen. Woo-hoo! No paying rent in two places!

And I got my new job contract in the mail today, which made me VERY happy.

Oh, and Dad reported today that Cecil is finally acclimating to her new digs. Evidently she's still acting like a diva (which is not surprising at all), but she is letting them touch her now. But only when it's her idea.

Auld Lang Syne

Well 2008 got off to a rockin' start. This is the first NYE in quite some time that I've actually had anything to do, much less stayed up to ring in the new year. Joe and I had fun. The restaurant is beautiful, the food amazing, and a good time was had by all.

This is me with Joe and Kevin, at the party.



Unfortunately my good mood didn't roll over into '08, as New Year's Day was kind of a bummer. I had a headache all day and the Piggies got the poo beat of out them in the Cotton Bowl, but I did get to go hang out with my good pals Brent and Dave and eat good food. Plus, I took a three-hour nap after the game. And I didn't waste time and money going to Dallas for the game (sorry, Sorne).

In moving news, I confirmed with the moving company this afternoon, and they'll be in Conway to pick up my stuff in 19 days... yikes! Must get packed.

Happy belated birthday to my Daddy, who turned 62 yesterday, and I didn't blog. Sorry! But happy birthday, anyway.

The blonde baker

The following photo comes to me from my pal Brent, who got it from someone he knows in Little Rock. Evidently Suzanne, one of his friend's coworkers, was leaving her position and her manager called to order her a goodbye cake from one of the Wal-Marts in LR. He told them to put "Best wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you." When they went to pick up the cake, this is what they got.



They thought it was so funny, they kept the cake.

Testing 1, 2, 3

I have a couple of recurring college-related dreams. In one, I oversleep and miss a final exam during my senior year and am unable to graduate. In the other, I sit down to take an exam and realize that the entire test is written in some foreign language and I can't understand a word of it.

Today I took such a test.

My plan was to sleep in a bit so that I'd be nice and rested for my marathon exam. The reality was that I stayed awake last night worrying about it and woke up again before 6 a.m. to fret some more. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and, since the disc with the practice exams that I got in the mail yesterday only works on a PC (there were three computers in my house, none of them a pc), I ventured to the office before daylight to commandeer a non-Mac.

After my first of three trips to Starbucks today, I came back to the house to find that the battery in the newly acquired computer was dead, and the powercord was nowhere in the bag. Bummer. So I opened up my study guide and feverishly tried to cram two months' of studying into two hours. My stress escalates.

I leave my house in plenty of time for Starbucks run #2 and to make sure I can find the testing center. I arrive 30 minutes early with ID in hand and sign in, where they make me lock up my very expensive Coach purse in a locker and show me to a computer.

After breezing through the extremely detailed instructions (i.e., how to use a mouse and how to scroll), I begin the exam. First question was an essay, which I write with relative ease. Second question, a persuasive paragraph of which I'm supposed to critique the effectiveness of the argument. Piece o' cake.

Then I move on to math and verbal. Uh oh.

In taking the practice tests, I felt confident in about 70 to 80 percent of the questions. When I took the ACT in high school, I could narrow down even the most difficult of questions to two answers. Today I guessed on at least 80 percent of the math questions.

An example: If x<0 and y>0, and s=t, what is the value of x/s? I've literally lost the will to live.... I guess B.

Next question is a paragraph that's about 14 sentences long and there's a diagram of four triangles with values and I'm supposed to compare the surface area to the circumference of the circle in the left quadrant. I realize that I could figure it out in about 20 minutes, but I only have 24 minutes left to answer 20 questions. I guess B.

The GRE exam is designed in such a way that the questions get more difficult if you answer the question correctly and less difficult if you answer the question incorrectly. That's how they determine your score. And halfway through the quantitative portion I'm questioning how I passed fifth grade math, my head is throbbing, and I'm guessing B over and over. And the questions aren't getting any easier, so I suppose I'm either guessing really well or my ability to reason has been compromised by my Starbucks high and the glare of the computer screen. I'm humming the theme song to "I Dream of Jeannie" for some reason.

After that torture is finally over and I stumble my way through the verbal portion of the exam by guessing on 40 percent of the questions, I reach the end. The computer asks me if I want my test scored. See, you can cancel at that point and no one will ever know how you did, including you. But I figure, hey... what the heck. I spent the 140 bucks and took a vacation day to learn just how stupid I am, so let's see the score.

I wait for the message, "You are too stupid to function." But surprisingly enough, I did okay. I won't be getting any scholarship offers from Harvard or anything, but I scored higher than the minimum at most graduate schools. So I guess everyone else is stupid, too.

Game over, we have a winner.

And on a much lighter note, after a celebratory Starbucks run, I stopped by my pal Brent's for his surprise 40th birthday party. Here we are. Between the two of us, we've lost 130 pounds. That's a whole person. Or two people in Hollywood.