Happy birthday, Taylor!

Can't believe our sweet little Bug is 18. What a great young man he's become. I'm ready for him to move to NWA, even if that means doing his laundry.

LORIpalooza

Had a fabulous weekend. Ran 6.2 miles on Saturday morning (ok, I walked part of it, but I still averaged a 12-minute mile, so hooray for me), and then got to spend the day with the awesome Jen and the rest of the fam.

I spent Friday morning setting up for the Cancer Challenge silent auction, had lunch with Krista, a work party, then dinner with Kelly.

Last night I had dinner followed by fro-yo with Lori B. I have a couple of more celebrations to come--including a Tulsa trip with Krista this weekend--then it's back to days on end that don't revolve around me. Any more than they usually do, that is.

So now I'm 38 and, amazingly, I still feel the same as I did at 37. Except I need to pop a lot more Aleve. But that could be related to the beating my poor body took Saturday morning. LORIpalooza is over. Bring it on, July!

Rest of the weekend pics are here.

The invisible woman

I had lunch with my friend Krista today and she gave me a coffee table book featuring "Cathedrals of the World." It's a stunning book, full of beautiful photographs. But it was quite a curious choice for a birthday gift for me. I was intrigued, to say the least.

Inside she wrote, "Nothing is invisible to our Lord and Savior," then she provided a link to a YouTube clip, promising me it would all make sense when I watched it.

It was a busy afternoon and I didn't watch the video until a few moments ago. And I'm humbled by it.

Tonight I was reminded that it doesn't matter who on Earth cares. God does. And as long as we're building something for Him, it will be beautiful!

10K on my Birthday

It's time for the rubber to meet the road. In a mere 34 hours, I'll be running my first 10K.

If you'll recall, I couldn't even run a mile at Christmastime. And now, three races, one new pair of shoes and hundreds of miles later, I'm upping my game. On my birthday.

I'm not sure what possessed me to awaken at dawn on my natal anniversary. A saner person would sleep in on the rare year that her birthday falls on a Saturday. But not this chick. I've paid 25 bucks to sweat like a hog and punish myself on the hills of Washington County.

Don't get me wrong... I know I'm physically capable of this. But mentally? I'm not so sure.

Even my boss gave me Gatorade today and prayed for my safety and willpower. He knows it's only by the grace of God that I'll run the whole thing without CPR.

I wanted to peter out and register for the 5K instead, but I figure even if I have to walk a mile or two, it's time for me to suck it up and meet the next challenge.

After all, it's for a good cause. So when I want to give up, I'll think of my mom and all of the other people living with cancer and I'll try to keep running.

It didn't really register for me how very far I'll be running until my aunt Kathy said, "That would be like running from Hartford to Midland." Indeed it will be. Wowzers.

Give me strength. But at least I get to carb up with Kelly tomorrow night.

6.2 miles, you will be defeated.

The audacity of sloth

Eh. I find myself suffering from overwhelming apathy these days.

I'm not sure if it's the excessive heat and humidity or just my general propensity toward laziness, but I can't seem to get excited about anything this week. Granted, I'm having a bit of trouble with the big 38 looming over the weekend. And while no one likes to be the center of attention more than I, I'm not having fun planning birthday parties and festivities and find myself wanting to just take a nap.

For the past three days I've slept through my running alarm. My afternoon meeting was canceled today, so I just now brushed my teeth for the first time today. I fell asleep around 4 o'clock this afternoon and slept for two hours, which meant that I had to work when I woke up.

Now I need to exercise and grocery shop, but I don't want to do either.

This does not bode well for my 10K on Saturday. Running 6.2 miles in the best of conditions is challenging for me. Doing it when it's a thousand degrees on my birthday? Yeah, I'm not so sure about that.

Oh, motivation, would you please show up? I need some energy, please. And birthday cake.

Desperation Samba

Just returned from the birthday party. We actually had a lot of fun, and the night went about as well as it could have. Awkwardness over. Friendship train back on track.

I knew most of the folks there, save a few, including one particular divorcee who set her sights on LB about 30 seconds after we arrived. To be fair, I'm not always great at the flirting, but I'm embarrassed for this poor girl. It was both blatant and ridiculous.

She asked him what he did. Then where he lived. He told her the town, but she wanted to know the subdivision.

She'd known him for four minutes at this point.

She asked him his birthday and then his astrological sign. She whipped out her iPhone so that she could use her horoscope app to test their compatibility.

Honey, Studio 54 called, and they want their pick-up line back.

God bless my friend Lela, who said (out loud), "Are you going to run his credit report too?"

Poor girl. I'm sure all she wanted was a new baby daddy for her three kids, but honestly, does that work on men? It certainly didn't on this one. She left the club alone and LB went home with me.

On the way Lela informed him that he needed to date a girl who hadn't been married and had no kids. He replied those were hard to find. She told him she knew a great one who happened to be in the car. Subtle, Lela.

He didn't take the bait, but I'm happy that we're back to being friends. If he doesn't realize how great I am, that's his loss, right?

Pics from this week are here.

Happy birthday, Taylor!

It's a very sad day. But it's also a happy day because it's Taylor's birthday. So happy 17th to the sweet little boy who turned into a great man. I couldn't be more proud!

Things to do before I'm 40

Yesterday, while laying in bed like a slug all afternoon, I caught the Lifetime movie, "10 Things to do Before I'm 30." Premise is that a young woman (let's face it, 29 is very young) loses her job, breaks up with her boyfriend, goes to her mom's to find herself, and discovers a magic list in her hope chest of all the things she wanted to do before she turned 30. Spoiler alert... she did all of them, had an adventure, and married Mr. Right.

I know what you're thinking... yeah, but that's a stupid movie. A stupid Lifetime movie. Those things are always predictable, right? And life seldom turns out that way.

I work with a woman who is approaching a milestone birthday soon. Early last fall she was single with no prospects. Online dating. Sitting at home on Saturday night just like me. She told all of us she'd be married before this birthday and pregnant soon after.

Now I believe in the power of prayer more than most. And I know God says we have not because we ask not, but I seriously had my doubts about that timetable. But guess what? She's married. She's pregnant. List complete.

Confession time... while I profess to be happily single and obviously I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship (sorry, Dr. Love), I do pray every night that God will either send along my husband or take away my desire to have one. And one thing I discovered from the aforementioned blind date with Grandpa was that even if I'm okay with marrying older, I'm not ready to give up on motherhood. I know. You're all shocked.

Seriously, if God intends for me to remain barren, I'm okay with it. It's not like I'm visiting sperm banks or lowering my dating standards because my biological clock has so very few ticks left, but let's just say I'm not ready to shut that door.

Epiphany, party of one.

I don't know if it's all the self-awareness of late, but this past birthday was a tough one for me. For the first time, I feel really old. You know how you have all of those things that you think you'll do "someday?" Well someday has occured and those things just haven't happened. Oh, I know Geena Davis had twins at the ripe old age of 46, but let's face it, most of us can't or don't want to rear that old. Who wants the senior citizen and the kids discount at the same time? What if I break a hip during childbirth? Can you breastfeed if your boobs are at your knees?

Ok. In the spirit of positive thinking, I've decided to make myself a list of things to do in the next three years. And you, the four people or so who read this, are in charge of holding me accountable.

10 things to do before I'm 40:
1. Wear a bikini in public (this requires more weight loss and excessive exercise)
2. Visit NYC
3. Decide what I want to be when I grow up
4. Get out of debt completely (save mortgage and car)
5. Take a European vacation
6. Set a good example for the children in my life, even if they're not mine
7. Get a life, and stop working all the time
8. Live fearlessly and with spontaneity
9. Be open to the possibility that Mr. Right may be packaged in a way I don't expect
10. Spend more time with God, my family, and my friends

That's it. From my fingers to God's ears!

Happy 501st post!

This is my 501st post. Man, that's a lot of drivel.

Happy birthday today to the amazing Amanda! I went to Tulsa last night to meet her and Sarah at the Cheesecake Factory for a pre-birthday dinner (although she thought yesterday was actually her birthday, and she's only 22).

Speaking of birthdays, since mine was so crappy this year, I decided to start a new birthday tradition and bought myself an expensive new handbag today (thank you, VISA!). If I can't find a man to buy me nice things, I'll buy them for myself. Scratch that... if I can't find a man I WANT to buy me nice things... So I decided that was my new tradition. By the time I'm 60 I should have quite the collection. Not that I don't already...

Today's the first textless day in quite a while. Perhaps he's finally gotten the hint.

I'm finally crashing from my three-hour sleep stint on Monday, so I'm off to bed. I have a trip to Springfield tomorrow with my boss and some other peeps.

Happy Hump Day!

Out with the old, in with the new

I think I've officially gone off the deep end. For some reason, I've been in a great mood all week. Yeah, things are going well at work (in a scary sort of way, like the calm before the storm), but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll die alone. I mean, seriously, the men I date make me wish I were attracted to women. But the good news is that I'm supremely blessed with great friends, and that more than makes up for the incessant text messaging and lame apologies.

A couple of weeks ago I made a new friend, and she called last night on her way home from St Louis to comisserate about our terrible dating experiences. There's something about knowing I'm not alone that makes me feel a lot better. Misery loves company, I suppose.

But you know what Jimmy Buffett said, "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

One more day 'til the birthday celebration. Got my present yet?

Happy birthday to Jen!

In all of my self-absorbed ranting, I totally forgot to wish a very happy birthday to one of my favorite people. Happy belated natal anniversary, Dr. Jen! You are one of the smartest, funniest, sexiest women I've ever known! You can cook. You are crafty. You are a great writer. You are amazing! With the exception of marrying into our family, you've made some great decisions.

Love you, Jen! So glad you married beneath you!

(I'm just kidding, Lon, you know you're my favorite almost brother.)

Happy (belated) birthday, Sorne!

I'm a few days late, but I would be remiss to not wish a very happy birthday to my pal Sorne, one of the greatest people in the whole wide world! Happy belated birthday to my roomie. Can't wait to party in T-town.

Happy birthday, Fat Sugar!

Five years ago today this precious boy joined our family. Happy birthday, Peyton!

Save the drama for your mama

It's always a struggle to decide how much of my private life to disclose on this thing. I realize my pathetic love life is exciting to all of you old married people, but I worry that someone, somewhere will accidently stumble onto this thing and rat me out to LB, who would be mortified.

This week someone from Billy Blanks Enterprises found the Drivel and loved that Paige loves tae bo. Now I have nightmares of BB making me do three hours of cardio for talking about LB too much. Granted, my pal Paige is skinnier than she's been in ten years, but I don't wanna put down my french toast and jab whilst lifting my big, fat thighs, even if it would get me in my skinny jeans.

But I digress. I also lie, because I promised not to talk about the boy anymore.

I just can't help myself.

I've been obsessing this week about his birthday next month. I emailed some friends to see if they wanted to join us for a casual dinner, and one of my girlfriends totally hijacked the plans. My low-key dinner has now turned into a big surprise party. Which he will HATE.

He's just not one for hoopla. Granted, paying the guy at the piano bar ten bucks to sing "Happy Birthday" to him when it's not really his birthday is amusing (that might have happened just last week). Doing it on his real birthday? Not so much.

We are not dating. I am not presumptuous enough to plan a party. How did this get out of control so quickly?

Question: what do you buy a guy you're not dating for a milestone birthday?

The bag lady

This is one of my favorite things EVER...

Today was my friend Lindsay's birthday. Last week, the diva-in-training sent us a copy of her birthday wish list, which included a treadmill, a spa day, and a Gucci bag. Her hubby got her the treadmill.

And today, Ashley brought her a Gucci bag. A paper one, but still... a Gucci bag.

Funniest. Gift. Ever.

Happy (belated) birthday, bro!

My aunt Kathy called today, disappointed that there wasn't an embarrassing pic of my brother on my blog to commemorate his birthday yesterday. I didn't forget, I was just distracted by the ice storm. But here you go.



And just for good measure, one of Kathy and Brad together.



Happy birthday, bro! A day late, but I love you!

Double the fun

Since Hope's birthday was Tuesday and Dad's is today, we celebrated both of them today with a joint party at my house. We had standard New Year's fare: pinto beans, fried potatoes, cornbread, dumplings and mac and cheese... yes, we ate from the beige food group. I guess the food was okay; Taylor ate three helpings of dumplings, so it was worth the sweat and tears to make them.

Here are some pics from today.













Chance tried to run on my treadmill in socks and jeans at 8 mph and fell off. His pride hurt worse than his elbow.

Happy birthday, Dad!

Happy birthday to my dad. I won't say how old he is, but it rhymes with mixty tree.

(Oh, and happy birthday to my uncle Lary, too.)

Happy birthday, Hurricane Hope!

She made landfall five years ago today, and our world hasn't been the same. Happy birthday, sweet baby girl!

Happy birthday, Mondo!

Belated birthday wishes go out to my cousin, Lonnie. Hope you had some Texas-sized fun!

(There you go, Memaw, an embarrassing pic of your son.)