What's up, Doc?
Thanks for the 47 text messages today. It was great getting to know you better... You are a witty conversationalist. I thought coffee tonight was a great idea. Thanks for asking. And thanks for not answering my texts and phone calls when I got back into town. Was there some sort of nuclear disaster I didn't know about? I'm sure there's a good explanation and I look forward to hearing it along with your apology. You can send the flowers to my office.
Best,
Lori
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Dear LB,
It's been 72 hours and I'm still mad at you. The least you could do is try to call so that I could have the satisfaction of ignoring you. Or, better yet, text me. I've got my reply all written already. It ends with, "I'm so disappointed in you." Guess all your crying last month and telling me I'm one of the most important people in your life took a backseat to a date with a chick you barely know. It's my birthday this week, you creep, and if you want me to forgive you in this lifetime, there'd better be an apology. You said you couldn't live without me, so why aren't you dead?
Get bent,
Lori
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To the cute ropes course guy,
Please don't judge me by the yoga pants and sweat stains. I'm a fun gal when I'm not balancing on a wire and sticking my butt in your face. Let's do some experiential learning of our own.
Lori
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Dear Dad,
I'm sorry for all of the times I got mad at you for not letting me do things like go to Ronnie's and shoot pool. I know now that they were smoking dope. And I'm sorry that Brad and I make fun of you for asking so many questions. You've left Gina alone, so I'm less afraid to introduce you to my boyfriend (if I ever get one). Happy Father's Day!
Your daughter
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5 comments:
I've got nothing...except to say that I laughed out loud, literally.
I laughed out loud, too! Low ropes initiative boy or "LRPI" (rhymes with slurpee) was a looker. Can I say that even though I'm married? Good. Jake's cuter.
not sure where i came up with those letters... let's try this again. "LRIB" Pronounced, Le Rib.
Well three out of four ain't bad. I heard from three of these dudes today... guess who hasn't tried to contact me? Jerk.
Oh, and Jennifer, thanks for the hot pic of me and LRIB on FB. It's so flattering.
LRIB...ohhh....I couldn't figure that one out, but green balls and plungers had to have something to do with the ropes course...or something I don't wanna know about. Miss you, L-Dawg!
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