More postcards (really... this is the last time)

To the dating gods...
What could I have possibly done to you? I realize I'm nuerotic and taller than the Statue of Liberty, but surely there's a nice, normal man out there for me. In the meantime, I will remain happily single rather than deal with dating. I hate, hate, HATE it. Perhaps I should have surgery and change my name to Chaz, babe.
Send me a normal man or suffer the consequences.
Lori
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Doctor man,
I really want to like you. You are so very sweet and take me to nice restaurants. Your compliments make me feel good. But the texting at 6:30 a.m. to tell me to have a nice day is a bit much. And the texting three hours later because I didn't respond and you're worried is just annoying. I have a job. I need some space. I can't breathe.
Lori
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Lawyer boy,
Props for finally growing a pair and calling, but how clueless are you that you really thought I was having dinner with you tonight? Seriously? And thanks for the opportunity for me to enlighten you as to the extent of my rage and disappointment. As for the apology? Too little, too late, bucko. Go find yourself another friend. I really meant it when I said you need to leave me alone. A year ago I didn't know who you were and I was happy then.
Have a nice life,
Lori
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Dad,
You said I'd be talking to LB again by Wednesday, but you were wrong. You lose the bet. I'm serious this time.
Your daughter