Beauty is pain

I'm not sure when I acquired my vanity. Oh, sure... I was concerned with the height of my bangs and the tight rolls on the bottoms of my jeans all through high school in the 80s, but it seems to get worse as I get older. You'd think, given the fact that my feet are the size of small water skis, I would care a bit less about what I wear now than I did before. That is not the case.

Take, for example, the very sexy red patent leather heels that I purchased a few months ago. Oh sure, they rub blisters and kill my arches, but they are hot. So I continue to wear them, even though I know I'll pay the price.

Today's wardrobe selection of black pin-striped power suit and cute red blouse was accented by the sexy red shoes even though I knew I'd be walking a lot. But I looked so hot! About 10 a.m. I succumbed to the blisters on both feet and came home to change into less hot but still cute black patent leather ballet flats that make my pants too long.

Yeah, I can walk further in the flats, but at what cost? I'm less confident as I walk. Fewer people stop me to comment on my shoes.

Ah, vanity, why art thou such a strong force?

My pal Alisa told me today that you get less vain around 40. That's a mere three point two five years for me (scary!), but I don't see it happening. I'll be the gal in the nursing home with the pointy-toed high heels. At least by that time, someone will be wheeling me around wearing my sexy shoes.

Cinderella had it right all along. One shoe can change your life. Wonder if the glass slipper caused blisters?

If we were a movie

Last week I was driving somewhere, flipping radio stations, and I heard a cute song by that annoying Disney chick, Hannah Banana or whatever her name is. Anyway, the catchy little tune's chorus was something about "if we were a movie, you'd be the right guy." And while I'm thinking she as probably talking about a Jonas brother or some other prepubescent kid, I decided it would be interesting if our lives were like a movie. Granted, life seldom gives you 90 minutes from meeting to happily ever after, but wouldn't it be fun to have sweeping music accompany major moments?

Last night I had a total movie moment. A Cinderella walking-down-the-stairs-and-catching-the-eye-of-the-Prince moment.

I was at a dinner, sitting in a ballroom surrounded by well-dressed people. There are literally hundreds of beautiful people there, sitting among white tablecloths, china and crystal.

I looked up, and walking in the door was a really attractive man, and he was looking straight at me. I raised my hand in greeting, just wanting to say hello. He walked across the room to my table, leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You are the most beautiful woman in the room. I've been waiting my whole life for you."

Ok, that last part's a lie. He did not say that. But he did really say, "You look awful fancy sitting over here."

Cue the music, I'm gonna swoon. He walked away, and as I'm sitting there, my knees weak, I hear the girl next to me say, "Hey, was that jerkface?"

Oh, did I forget to mention that it was LB? Yeah, the Prince is from the South and can be a jerkface. But even Cinderella had a script. The rest of us sometimes have to make due with corny lines.

Something else I learned from Cinderella? One shoe can change your life.

12 hours 'til the non-date. Stay tuned.