Second chances

Lately I've been spending a lot of time sifting through the ex files.

When your world is small and most the men your age are either married or gay, it stands to reason that perhaps you have to start recycling dates. Especially when you can't remember why things didn't work out the first time. And maybe you've both grown up and decided what you want. Maybe the things that seemed like such a big deal at the time no longer are.

Or maybe the reasons it didn't last before are the same reasons it never will. Maybe it's best not to stroll down that block of memory lane.

When is it okay to give him a second chance, and when do you slam the door? Because the things we say when we think someone's taken aren't necessarily the things we'd say if we knew he wasn't. The possibility of romance complicates everything... makes us second-guess the nuances of conversations and stress over intent whereas simple friendship lends itself to casual conversations without regard to where it's headed.

And maybe I'm obsessing over nothing and it's not about second chances at all, but rather about reaching out to someone you once cared about to commiserate about failed love. Who better to make you feel good about yourself than someone who once thought about you all the time? And who better to understand your shortcomings that someone who once found them a reason to no longer be with you?

Hmmm...