Love and loss

My heart is breaking for a sweet friend who lost her mom this week. Her mom's been critically ill for quite some time, so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but you're never ready to say goodbye to someone you love. And since she lost her dad suddenly several years ago, she now finds herself an orphan, which is something you never expect to be in your 30s.

Needless to say, I know exactly what she's going through.

I know how it feels to be constantly asked how you're feeling when all you're feeling is numb. I know how it feels to wonder if it's worse when it's a surprise or when you can see it coming. In many ways, it's tougher to watch someone you love suffer even though you get to say goodbye. But then again, when you don't expect it, there are things you left unsaid and times when you forget they're gone and have to pause and feel the loss all over again.

And since I'm not the only one who gets the parallels of our situations, I found myself answering the question today, "How did you deal with it?"

The simple answer: with faith and friends.

I'm lucky enough to have a network of friends who know when to leave me alone and when to listen. Who let me cry, let me complain, and let me be myself. Who tell me it's okay to feel whatever crazy way I feel at any given moment.

I don't know how people deal with loss without a great support system. And I especially don't know how people deal with loss when they don't have faith and know where their loved one is.

For it's only in knowing that your lost loved one is cradled in the arms of Jesus that you find comfort, and in knowing that you'll someday be reunited.

Driving home tonight, overcome with sadness, I found myself I praying for some comfort. There are more than 6,000 songs on my iPod, and randomly this song by Third Day came on:

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith and love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus