I hate Valentine's Day.
There are two nights out of the entire year that it really sucks to be single. One is New Year's Eve. The other, Valentine's Day.
The other 363 I don't mind being alone. Right now I'm watching a cheesy show on the CW in my flannel pajamas, wearing glasses and Crest white strips. My legs aren't shaved. My hair's in a clip. My top and bottoms don't match. Ah, the fabulous life of the single gal.
I just painted a purple accent wall in my bedroom. No man would let me do that.
Glamour aside, my life is going pretty well right now. I have plans with great friends three nights in a row this weekend. My job is good (and I'm grateful to have one). But Valentine's Day looms. That Hallmark, red rose and haiku festival of love. In 13 days. With no man on the horizon.
Without a doubt, the worst part of this stupid holiday is the pity others seem to think I deserve. Last year one of my coworkers felt bad that I didn't get flowers, so she left one of the 18 she received from her husband on my desk. Yeah, thanks for the pity rose, pal.
I usually get some cursory gifts from friends, with comments of "Well we didn't want you to not get anything today...." Seriously. I'm okay with that. It's much less painful than others wrapping stuff up because they feel sorry for me.
My pal Lori B, who's also single (and amazing, which makes me realize boys are really stupid) sent me an email today from a local restaurant, detailing their Valentine's Day plans. This is a first-rate joint, with servers and assistant servers and reservations and bottle service. They also have a great bar area that they're trying to establish as the permier Happy Hour locale of NWA.
So, on Thursday, February 11, they'll be featuring a fabulous mixer after work, and are encouraging patrons to color code themselves for easy identification. If you're taken, you're to wear red. If you're in a relationship but it's not serious, you're supposed to wear yellow. Single? Wear green.
What the heck is the significance of green? Red is the official color of Valentine's Day, so I suppose that makes green the color of mold? Not the bloom from the rose, but the extra leaves that get cut off. Why don't we all just stamp our forehead with a big "L" for loser and call it a night?
I can tell you one gal who won't be wearing green for Valentine's Day. I'll be in black in protest of this stupid holiday.
And no, I'm not online dating. Shut up.
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2 comments:
Ahh, you think I am amazing!?!?!? That makes up for also having to suffer through this ridiculous holiday. You know what would be worse? Dating a dude and showing up at that little soiree in non-matching colors (i.e. him in yellow and you in red) because the two of you aren't on the same wavelength. I always say it is much worse to be lonely IN a relationship than alone.
Again, thanks for describing my life in full on, technicolor verbiage.
Wanna hear something hilarious? I made that exact same comment to my friend Krista tonight (about the yellow and red thing). I think we share a brain in addition to a name, Lori B.
And yes, you are amazing. Boys are stupid.
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