Someone once told me that men and women can never be just friends. I'm not sure that's true, but I do think it's difficult when you're both single and straight. One of you is usually going to start considering why you're not more than friends, and that's where the problems start. Because if he wants to be with you all the time but isn't trying to date you, chances are he finds you repulsive, right?
Welcome to the single woman's mind.
When we've been considering coupledom with a single guy friend and have to hear "I just don't think about you in that way," it's tough to recover. We compare ourselves to the girls he does date. We wonder why we weren't hot enough to catch his attention. We may even obsess about it a bit. Ok, we obsess about it A LOT.
And yeah, we agree to remain his friend and we say it with the best of intentions, but don't expect us to smile gamely when he dates our friends. Don't be surprised when we don't call because we don't want to hear what he's been doing (unless it includes really missing us).
But when he does give us some time and space, occasionally we are able to open the door again. Because, let's face it, it's hard to find a really great friend. And when you do, even if he doesn't get how fabulous you are, you've got to decide if you'd rather suck it up and move on, or hold a grudge for the rest of your life with one less friend.
Honestly, I have remained friends with very few guys I've dated or wanted to date, but I've decided to make LB the exception. We're moving forward in our quest to sustain the friendship after "the talk," even if it is six months later. I've invested a lot of time and energy in this guy. He'd better be worth it.
1 comment:
Friends are good but platonic or not, they do not have the right to treat you poorly. Keep some rules around it and expect him to hold up his end (meaning if he does something one of your girlfriends would never do) don't let it slide.
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