Class clown

Remember that one kid in school... the one who always commanded the teacher's attention by doing stupid things or being totally behind everyone else?

That's me in yoga class.

Being born with giraffe-length limbs certainly doesn't help, but my biggest problem is just my general lack of grace and flexibility. While the rest of the class is firmly planted in perfect warrior position, I'm trying to get my knee placed over my gargantuan-sized feet. When everyone else is doing beautiful downward-facing dogs, I'm getting yelled at to pull my feet forward and thrust out my large rear.

The most uttered phrase of the night: "Lori, relax your face!" You try to relax while hoisting your large thighs toward the sun. It ain't easy.

I can't even breathe right. Evidently the proper way involves sounding like Darth Vader and pushing out your ribcage.

Me in yoga class = elephant in the ballet. Unnatural and not pretty. Namaste.