'Tis the Season

I'm not quite sure why, but this holiday has been the most stressful one of my life. Planning out of town trips every weekend since Halloween probably wasn't a smart move, especially when you consider that there are only so many shopping days before Christmas, and lack of sleep equals a very cranky Lori. My gift list keeps expanding with people I forgot I needed to buy for. My credit card balance keeps growing. And so does my waistline as workouts fall lower and lower on my priority list.

In my quest to become the consummate Renaissance woman, I decided this week to balance my work budget during the day and bake like Martha Stewart by night. I've slept ten hours during the past 72, spending the rest of the time catching up on work and working on cookies. And trust me, I'd rather stare at spreadsheets all day than cut and ice cookies.

This morning I delivered dozens and dozens of treats to folks at work (after icing them at 3 a.m.), then decided to stop at McDonald's for breakfast, where the lady behind me obviously didn't understand the double drive-thru concept of taking turns, and proceeded to honk her horn repeatedly before rolling down her window to yell at me. Merry Christmas to you too, lady.

It seems that I'm not the only one cranky this month. I've had line cutters at Williams Sonoma, cranky operators at XM, and lots and lots of traffic. It's enough to make you not appreciate the season, and the reason we celebrate.

Not just because of the birth of our Lord and Savior, which is of course the most important, but the time spent with family and friends. So what if I don't have time to pack... I get to spend two whole weeks with people I seldom see, doing things I want to do, and not going any meetings. Sleeping in and eating and making small talk. Getting on each others' nerves.

This morning on TV they were discussing the end of the decade, and it occurred to me for the first time that, in a mere two weeks, we'll be ushering in the '10s.

So I started thinking about all that's happened in my life in the past 10 years and, instead of focusing on the tremendous loss we've had in our family, I started feeling grateful for all of the love.

Every year I make resolutions I don't keep. But on this New Year's Day, I commit to stop living my life in pursuit of the ideal, and start enjoying the interim. Because life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. It's the little things like obsessing over boys with your girlfriends whether you're 13 or 33. Snuggling with the kids in your life. Waiting for Santa. The cool people you meet that you may never see again.

And yeah, we'll all have broken hearts and credit card bills and love and loss, but that's the amazingly wonderful thing about living.

Even when you have jury duty and presents to buy and people to see.