What not to wear, how not to feel

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! I've been obsessed with "What Not to Wear" for months. I watch it faithfully as I walk on the treadmill. Sometimes two or three episodes a day. So I am indebted to Stacy and Clinton for not only making my thighs smaller, but for taking my fashion knowledge from so-so to "hello!" S & C taught me that accessories should not match but "go" with your outfit. I learned all about proportion. That jackets help tie your outfit together and always make you look better. That your purse shouldn't match your shoes. And that said shoes should always be pointed toes.

Tonight I went to the first night of class for a new group and, bored while the teacher was talking, checked my Twitter feed to discover that Stacy London's coming to NWA tomorrow. During break I asked the Sam's peeps what time she'd be at the store. Turns out one of our students works for the company she's coming to represent. And she's going to ask if I can stop by their office tomorrow for a private meet and greet. OMG! I am giddy. Can you imagine? What in the world do I wear to meet such a fashionista (shut up, Amanda, the gray streak makes her look distinguished!)?

Other than excitement, my other emotions of the day included exasperation, impatience, and puzzlement. Plus, a first-rate case of jealousy. I hate feeling jealous. See, I love my life and most days I wouldn't trade places with anyone (save Giselle and Stacy London, who gets to tell people they dress like crap). But something happened today that brought out a serious case of the green monster.

So driving home tonight, I called Jen to make me feel less guilty about my petty feelings (and she did, 'cause she's awesome that way). But I'm still obsessing about it. And thinking that the boy ought to feel special that I care enough about him to be jealous. Because that's what jealousy is about, right? Being so into someone that you don't want them spending time with anyone else, or putting something before you?

Halfway home my iPod shuffled to a new song by the David Crowder Band, "How He Loves." And the opening line is "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane. I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy."

I'm ashamed. Not just because I'm so petty, but because I don't consider often enough how very lucky I am that the incomparable God is jealous for me.

"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about... How He loves us..."