I'm just not that into you

I'm not quite sure why I continue to dip my toe into the dating pool. It's really hard to meet a normal, smart guy who is as equally into you as you are into him. Usually, the balance of power is woefully one sided.

I'm certainly no exception. I'm either the heartbreaker (doctor) or the heartbroken (lawyer). I'm just not that into the former and the latter is definitely just not that into me.

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug. But either way, it's messy.

I suppose it's harder to see the signs when you're not looking, but they're always there. The not responding to texts. The vague response to being asked out (guys... "I'm really busy all week, let's talk next week" is code for "I don't want to make time for you."). Because, really, if my walking on the treadmill and incessant Facebook lurking takes precedence over dinner with you, it's so not going to happen.

And yeah, I tend to fall fast if I'm going to fall, but even I have whiplash after the initial lunch date follow-up text of "I need to know what you're thinking." I'm kind of annoyed by the 6:30 a.m. "Good morning, beautiful" text, and really, really annoyed by the 9:30 a.m. text of "Are you ok? You never responded to my text earlier today."

Ugh. Why do I only want the men who don't want me?

A friend of mine once said to me, "He who cares least controls the relationship." I questioned it at the time, but it's totally true. I have all the power in the doctor relationship. I'm still ignoring his dinner invitation from 10 hours ago. And I know if I called him right now he'd want to talk to me. Even if someone's bleeding.

But I won't. Because I don't care. And the lawyer? I'm obsessing over the fact that he hasn't called. Because I do care.

It's enough to make a girl want to give up on dating altogether. But I won't. That's why I agreed to another blind date. Because he might be the one.

Probably not. More likely, I'll be annoyed by him or he'll be avoiding my phone calls.

And so it has been since the beginning of time. At least Adam had to choose Eve. He wasn't looking around for someone thinner or hotter or a chick with a smaller leaf. Besides, she obviously was in control of that relationship. Forbidden fruit? Of course, for you, Eve.

Last week one of my exes sent me a Facebook message to wish me happy birthday, and asked how long it's been since our "little liasion." First of all, ick. And second of all, you are MARRIED. So inappropriate.

But the weirdest thing of all is that I can't remember why we broke up. I remember being devastated at the time, but now, I don't care at all. So life definitely does go on, and there are many, many more men left to break my heart.

And more hearts left for me to break, too.