It's not you, it's me

Four times in the past 24 hours I've uttered the phrase, "There's no easy way to say this..." That's a tough thing for me to say, so obviously I'm not a man.

There's a fine line between being kind when giving bad news and opening the door for argument. It's a delicate balance, and I learned the hard way to be as vague as possible. People may say that they value honesty, but at the end of the day, no one really wants to hear that there's someone smarter or prettier or who has a better personality. We want to hear, "We went another way" or "It's not you, it's me."

So perhaps honesty isn't always the best policy. There have been many times when I've wondered why I didn't get a job or why someone dumped me, but looking back, I realize that I really didn't want to know that a potential boss didn't like my personality or that the thought of spending one more day as my boyfriend was unbearable.

So we say all the things we're supposed to say, like "We'll stay friends" when we know we won't, or "I hope the girl you did hire works out well" when we hope she doesn't.

But as I've grown older I have realized that saying those words is almost as hard as hearing them. No one wants to be the bad guy. But sometimes you have to be.