Lessons from Branson

As someone committed to education, I try to learn something new everyday. This is what I've learned today...

1. The average age in Branson is 72.
2. Looking at Christmas lights is no longer cheap entertainment... it's now quite a racket.
3. Any Branson show, regardless of genre, will include corny jokes, a patriotic medley, and a singer flirting with an old lady.
4. I will always be seated next to the fattest woman/man in the theatre, who will always hog the armrest.
5. Memaw will never fail to embarrass me by trying to get her cheap thrills by finding free stuff (tonight she forced me to go into Bath & Body Works so that she could use three coupons for free lotion.... they were not original coupons and there was a limit of one per customer... her response was to point to each of us and insist that we are indeed three separate people... I was cowering behind a display at that point).
6. Although the population of Branson is less than 10,000, there are more than half a million who try to drive down Hwy 76 at any given moment, most of whom are trying to turn left.
7. Granny really, really likes apple butter.
8. The average wait time in Branson restaurants is 45 minutes.
9. Lonnie and Jennifer are cookie thieves.
10. Hell must have frozen over, because I'm rooting for OU to win a football game.