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I have a classic Carrie conundrum. Which is more satisfying, dinner with your man friend or shopping with your credit card?

The answer is, of course, both.

Today was the second worst day of my career. Seriously. Oh, in the big scheme of things, it's not the end of the world. But when you're a person who finds their worth in work and someone tells you that you suck at it, that's a bad day right there. So I handled it as any good girl should. I called my crush for sympathy and pulled out my credit card.

I've been told that the measure of a good man is how he reacts in a crisis. This boy passed with flying colors. Not only did he buy me dinner and listen attentively to my horrifying story, but when I told him I dealt with my stress by having a massage and buying a new handbag, he said, "That's okay. You deserved both of those things."

I'm so going to marry that man.

Russ-vegas

Today was a great day in many ways because I got to see three of my favorite people in the whole wide world: Alisa, Amy and Shauna. We enjoyed lunch at our favorite place, Italian Gardens, and we ordered the same things we always do. We talked for two hours (we did do some work, in case you were wondering), and our waitress quickly crossed the line from attentive to annoying.

It was the first time I've seen them in months, so we had a lot of catching up to do. About work. About family. About LB.

Shauna and Alisa have recommended that I profess my like for the boy by sticking my tongue in his ear Saturday night. Yeah, I don't see that happening, but I am gearing up for an opportunity this weekend, and I hope I'll have the courage to take it.

So here's your task for the day... I'm soliciting advice about what to say, how to say it, and where. Post some comments, please. I'm totally serious. Obviously I can't be trusted.

T-4 and counting

In exactly four days, I'm attending a charity cocktail event. Know what you wear to a cocktail party? That's right... a cocktail dress. Know what a cocktail dress seldom has? Sleeves.

Thankfully I found a dress with an empire waist and my need for spanx diminished. But I'll still be showing my upper arms which haven't seen the light of day in half a decade.

Is it too hot for a coat?

I did push ups before breakfast, walked two miles at lunch, and did yoga before dinner. I've drank gallons of water and laid in the tanning bed. Tanned fat looks better than white fat, right?

Oh, and guess who I'm going with....

The lunch lady

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my pal and loyal reader Schluter Cooter, who says all she wants for her birthday is to hear the lunch story. You must aim higher, friend, but your wish is my command. Here's the Cliffs Notes version.

My beloved paramour is a workaholic. So when he told me he "might" come over yesterday if he got finished early at the office, I wasn't too hopeful. Not only did he come over to help me out with a volunteer assignment, he took me to lunch. Then he let me sit in the golf cart while he did my work. While making me laugh. And buying me Diet Coke.

If you'll recall, the only other time LB's been to my house he didn't stay long. Yesterday he not only stayed, he walked around my house singing "Gold Digger" wearing cowboy boots. That boy is such an enigma.

I know what you're thinking... I promised to have the talk. But when I'm with him, it's just so comfortable and fun that I can't make myself do it. Needless to say, I find myself falling deeper with every late night text. I am in so much trouble.

Surprise!

Sometimes life is full of little surprises. LIke when a cute boy shows up on your doorstep on a Sunday afternoon. To take you to lunch.

Details later. Must change clothes.

He blinded me with science

I barely passed physics in high school, so in my attempt to finish high school as stress-free as possible, I never enrolled in chemistry. I don't claim to understand it. Like any science, its comprehension evades me.

Perhaps that's why I don't get dating at all. What makes one person attractive and another not? Can we find someone aesthetically pleasing but not be attracted to them? Is it pheromones?

How can you meet 99 men who seem just average and then the 100th one makes your toes curl?

When you're lucky enough to find someone who makes your heart palpitate, it's hard to ignore. And often it's not just about how he looks, but how he makes you feel. How he makes you laugh. How he makes you think. How he knows just the right thing to say to make you feel better when you've had a bad day. The cute, sexy way he avoids trying to fix my problems and, instead, just listens to me. Really listens.

Ah, chemistry. I may not understand you, but I'm going to enjoy you.

I demand a do-over

When my nephew, Taylor, was a kid, he used to cheat at board games. He's always been super competitive, and he figured out that if he didn't like the cards he had, Grandma would let him re-deal. I don't know about you, but I've often wished life were like that.

How many times have I traded in my Ace of spades for a two of clubs? Don't you wish you could look at the hand you're dealt, decide you don't like it, and demand new cards?

But I suppose life would be less well, life, if we knew what was coming or if we could control the outcome. Sometimes it's in the not knowing that we grow the most. Sometimes it's in the playing through the crappy hand that we learn what we're made of. And sometimes we get lucky and get dealt a full house, only to realize too late that we've stupidly traded some cards away.

I demand a do-over. I want new cards.

Things that are currently on my nerves:

1. Not being able to sleep in my own bed
2. My Blackberry, and the incessant stream of e-mails I receive questioning my professionalism, leadership, judgement, schedule, or fashion choices (ok, I made the last one up... because who could question my fashion?)
3. People who think the world revolves around them (because it totally revolves around me)
4. Not knowing what I want to be when I grow up
5. Interstate travel
6. My nagging, persistent cough
7. Clothes that have to be dry cleaned and/or ironed
8. Men who can't make up their minds
9. Fever blisters
10. Canker sores
11. Hotels that charge extra for Internet access ($150 a night doesn't include that?!?)
12. The inside of my car
13. Pollen
14. My alarm clock
15. Meetings
16. Baseball season
17. Traffic

Tuesday update

Ooh, bad, bad day at work. But I've since walked four miles AND done yoga. So now I'm zen and sweaty and ready for bed (after a shower).

Two days 'til Texas!

And on and on it goes

So I was wrong. No answered prayer. Just more questions. Ah, the obsessive question asking...

You know, when I posted that I expected an answer to prayer, I was totally confident that it was going to happen. I mean, it can't just be a coincidence that while I was praying said prayer for clarity and closure that the phone rang. And it was totally him (LB, not God). Asking if I'd meet him in the morning. Wanting us to ride together to our event. YES! How cool is it that I got sidetracked mid-prayer to get my answer? I'm totally going to get an answer, right?

Um, wrong. And I totally had my hopes up all day. Especially when he told a friend of ours in front of me that he may have already met "the one" and just didn't realize it yet. Then, when he outlined what he looks for in a woman--someone who's smart, who's a nice person, and who HAS DARK HAIR--I thought surely it was a sign. Phone call to the brunette = true love, right?

Friend went on to tell him that he was a total catch and that any woman would be lucky to have him. He turned to me, asking me what I thought. I responded in my sweet way, "I think you suck."

Not joking. I totally said that. But at least he knew I was kidding.

And now, ten texts or so later, the story goes on. No clarity. No closure. End of patience.

I know what you're thinking... it's time for a tough conversation. You're right. It totally is.

This smart, nice, brown-haired girl is going to come clean. Eventually.

ANSWERED prayer

Wow. Looks like my prayer may be answered sooner rather than later.

Stay tuned.

Unanswered prayer

God and I have been having frequent conversations as of late. They've been pleading (me), impatient (also me), and often silent (Him).

The Bible tells us that we have not because we ask not, so there's no harm in the asking, right? Every day for eight months I've asked. And asked. And asked.

I'm still waiting for an answer. But I realized today that sometimes the lesson's in the waiting. If it increases my dependence on Him, maybe that's it. Or perhaps I'm supposed to learn to be more patient.

The bottom line is that I'm frustrated. And now I'm not only waiting on an answer, but the lesson in it all.

Noah waited about 100 years for the rain. I often wonder if, about year 60, he cried out to God, "When in the world are you going to answer this prayer?" But he kept on nailing and gathering animals, knowing God would do what He said He would.

I'm ready for the raindrops.

I'm back!

Sorry for my brief hiatus from the blogging world. I've been couch surfing for a few days with limited Internet access. Coupled with the fact that my BlackBerry is not downloading my work e-mail, technology does not seem to be my friend these days. I feel cut off from the world and it's causing a nervous tick. I still check my phone about 20 times an hour. It's a serious addiction.

I'm in the Spa City for a conference and even though I'm on a self-imposed massage moratorium, I suppose it's been fine so far. The conference was short this afternoon, so I got some work done in my room (hello, Internet!), went out to dinner, and ran three miles. Okay, I actually only ran two or so, but I finished three miles. It helped a lot that there was a girl running next to me and I made myself run longer than she did. Maybe my competitive spirit will last through the 5K next weekend.

Hopefully I can get out of bed tomorrow. But at least I'm having a better night than Tom Izzo.

Pass the remote

I remember vividly our first VCR. Our family never succumbed to the beta max craze, but my parents saved money for weeks to buy a $500+ video cassette recorder.

It was amazing. You could actually set it to record stuff when you weren't home. Imagine! And you could fast forward through commercials.

Fast forward 20 years and I don't know how I ever lived without my DVR. Not only does it record stuff when I'm not home, it does so without those annoying tapes. I can pause and rewind live TV, even when I'm not recording. I can watch something while recording two other things, and since I have two machines, it's actually possible to record four programs at once while watching a fifth one.

Sure, technology is awesome, but when it starts to control your life, perhaps you need counseling. I now have seven things I record on Monday night alone. When in the world can I watch all of that? Right now I'm stressed because I'm going out of town tomorrow until next Wednesday, and I need to watch what's on both of my DVRs so that there will be space to record all of the new stuff. Thankfully many shows are reruns next week.

Too. Much. Pressure.

Hello... anyone home?

Girl is full of it. Yeah, I called him back. He was as excited to hear from me as one can be when they're awoken from sleep. In my defense, it was just past 10 and he is not that old.

Last night I had an amazing dinner at Michelangelo's and got to catch up with my friend Joe. The only drawback was that they were out of tiramisu, but my rear end is probably thankful. If only I'd hadn't eaten that three cheese pizza and shrimp brandisi. But oh, it was so yummy.

Now I'm sitting at a job fair in NLR and so far, there are no degree seekers.

Yesterday I subjected myself to searching for a dress at the mall. I don't even own one. But when you wear jeans to church and pants to work, the need to show your knees diminishes. Anyway, it was totally a depressing endeavor. How is it I can lose 30 pounds and still look like a stuffed sausage in this season's cute belted dresses? I may have to wear my housecoat to the wedding next weekend. Memaw would do that, right? (Just kidding, Memaw... love you!)

I'm determined to find a dress this afternoon before heading back northwest. Perhaps a muumuu would be in order. If I put an orchid behind my ear, it would be festive. Aloha!

I so need a Diet Coke...