Good news, bad news

First, the bad news... Evidently my former future husband Tom Brady took a wife. Guess that dream is dead.

The good news? Taylor is playing in the finals of the regional tournament tonight. They're now 30-1. (The only team to beat them is who they're playing tonight.) Oh, and I get to eat Whattaburger again tonight. More good news!!

Beauty is pain

I'm not sure when I acquired my vanity. Oh, sure... I was concerned with the height of my bangs and the tight rolls on the bottoms of my jeans all through high school in the 80s, but it seems to get worse as I get older. You'd think, given the fact that my feet are the size of small water skis, I would care a bit less about what I wear now than I did before. That is not the case.

Take, for example, the very sexy red patent leather heels that I purchased a few months ago. Oh sure, they rub blisters and kill my arches, but they are hot. So I continue to wear them, even though I know I'll pay the price.

Today's wardrobe selection of black pin-striped power suit and cute red blouse was accented by the sexy red shoes even though I knew I'd be walking a lot. But I looked so hot! About 10 a.m. I succumbed to the blisters on both feet and came home to change into less hot but still cute black patent leather ballet flats that make my pants too long.

Yeah, I can walk further in the flats, but at what cost? I'm less confident as I walk. Fewer people stop me to comment on my shoes.

Ah, vanity, why art thou such a strong force?

My pal Alisa told me today that you get less vain around 40. That's a mere three point two five years for me (scary!), but I don't see it happening. I'll be the gal in the nursing home with the pointy-toed high heels. At least by that time, someone will be wheeling me around wearing my sexy shoes.

Cinderella had it right all along. One shoe can change your life. Wonder if the glass slipper caused blisters?

Save the drama for your mama

It's always a struggle to decide how much of my private life to disclose on this thing. I realize my pathetic love life is exciting to all of you old married people, but I worry that someone, somewhere will accidently stumble onto this thing and rat me out to LB, who would be mortified.

This week someone from Billy Blanks Enterprises found the Drivel and loved that Paige loves tae bo. Now I have nightmares of BB making me do three hours of cardio for talking about LB too much. Granted, my pal Paige is skinnier than she's been in ten years, but I don't wanna put down my french toast and jab whilst lifting my big, fat thighs, even if it would get me in my skinny jeans.

But I digress. I also lie, because I promised not to talk about the boy anymore.

I just can't help myself.

I've been obsessing this week about his birthday next month. I emailed some friends to see if they wanted to join us for a casual dinner, and one of my girlfriends totally hijacked the plans. My low-key dinner has now turned into a big surprise party. Which he will HATE.

He's just not one for hoopla. Granted, paying the guy at the piano bar ten bucks to sing "Happy Birthday" to him when it's not really his birthday is amusing (that might have happened just last week). Doing it on his real birthday? Not so much.

We are not dating. I am not presumptuous enough to plan a party. How did this get out of control so quickly?

Question: what do you buy a guy you're not dating for a milestone birthday?

No rest for the weary

I'm really, really tired. After staying up 'til midnight four nights in a row, I was so excited about going home tonight, taking a hot bath, and going to bed early. You have no idea how forward I was looking to that.

Until I got a phone call this afternoon and had to go home, repack the stuff I just unpacked last night, and drive back to Little Rock. Sad times, friends.

But this pic makes me laugh. These are my friends Tony, Josh and Shane, last week at the Capitol. What is up with the BlackBerry addiction?

Late night gumbo

Wow... it seems like years since my last post. Probably not for all of you, but for me, because I've been all over the state since Tuesday.

I'm exhausted from staying up 'til at least midnight four nights in a row, but I've had a fabulous five days, hanging out with some great new friends and getting to see some great old friends as well.

I won't bore you with too many details about my trip to the state capitol since some of it was dull and some of it not fit to print, but it was memorable both personally and professionally. I got the chance to tour the Clinton library for the first time, and after witnessing my second legislative session ever, I have less confidence in my state government than before. Somebody with a clue please run for office.

Here are some pics of two of my favorite new friends, Terri and Tony (and yes, I have more chins than a Chinese phone book in that second pic... what's up with that?)





Thankfully Schluter was also in the Rock on Thursday, so we got to hang out at the Supreme Court for a bit and then got to visit because we skipped out on the committee meeting we were supposed to attend.

On Friday I got to see my good pals Alisa and Shauna at Tech, as well as my great love, Feltner's Whattaburger.

My friend Paige's husband Bryan made me french toast yesterday morning and we happily ate it while watching Paige do tae bo in the living room. I then had a very rough day of getting a massage, a pedicure, eating cheese dip from Stoby's, going to see Alisa, Grey and Scott at Mount Nebo, and then taking a nap.

Last night I emceed the Miss Lake Dardanelle pageant, after which we went back to Paige and Bryan's and stayed up talking until 3 a.m.

Now I need to be catching up on work because I was gone for three days, but I don't wanna.

Oh, and congratulations to the Hackett Hornets, who won their conference tournament last night 50-29. Taylor et al will be playing in the regional tournament in Danville next week.

The Tuesday vows

And no, I don't mean marriage vows. Hell hath not frozen over yet.

I vow to continue to go to yoga, even though it makes me feel like an uncoordinated elephant and makes me sweat profusely which does weird things to my hair.

I vow to stop eating fast food for lunch every day while wondering how my butt got so big.

I vow to stop feeling guilty for canceling my Weight Watchers online membership. No more counting points. (To be fair, I haven't counted 'em in months.)

I vow to clean out my closet and get rid of anything I haven't worn in six months, giving it to those who have less clothes (i.e., 99.9% of the world's population).

I vow to stop talking about LB like he's my imaginary boyfriend. He is my friend. Just like he's told me in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Sorry, no more LB posts.

I vow to start making my morning quiet time a priority instead of forgetting about it until halfway through the day.

I vow to stop getting my feelings hurt when friends tell me someone sent me candy last Friday because he felt sorry for me because I was alone on Valentine's Day.

Love, life and the pursuit of the perfect blouse

I can't believe the weekend's over.

After spanning two states and multiple stores, I finally found the perfect blouse to go with my (size smaller) navy suit to meet the governor on Thursday. It's weird; when I was in high school and ran for state office in FBLA, my mom and I picked out a navy power suit and cream-colored blouse. The new suit is more fitted and pants instead of a skirt, but still... the more things change the more they stay the same. Nothing says powerful like a navy suit and pearls. A Southern lady always has a great set of pearls in her wardrobe.

Yesterday Amanda and I trekked to Tulsa and waited for 2.5 hours to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. That place is great, but geez. And it wasn't just Valentine's Day couples. Old people, young people, families, singles... everyone in the great state of Oklahoma was in that restaurant yesterday afternoon.

We thought it appropriate to celebrate our V-Day singleness with "He's Just Not That Into You," but it was sold out, so we saw "Confessions of a Shopaholic" instead. Today we caught "Into You" in Siloam among a packed house of four other people. I was a bit disappointed in both movies, having loved both books, but I give them both a solid one-thumb up. Passable entertainment, but not stellar. Perhaps my expectations were a bit high. And you know what they say... never judge a great book by its movie.

Only two days in the office this week, then I'm off to Little Rock for a tour of the Presidential Library (I've never been, believe it or not), the Capitol and the Governor's Mansion. And guess who'll be there? The boy.

Love sick

I think I must be allergic to Valentine's Day.

It all started on Tuesday, when I woke up stuffy. Stuffy turned to sniffly, which turned to sneezy, which turned to achy, feverish and miserable.

Yesterday I had to speak at a luncheon, and I've been in bed since then. I tried Nyquil, Vick's on the feet, and cough drops. I do feel a bit better than I did last night, but I still sound like I could make $3.99 a minute on a 900 line. Thankfully LB called last night and I got to talk sexy to him.

Sickness aside, I am in a great mood because God granted me the best Valentine's gift of all, answered prayer. So what if I sleep alone... I've got the unwavering love of an awesome Savior, and sometimes He just blows me away!

Ouch

Every muscle in my body hurts. Aches. Especially the ones in my stomach that I didn't know existed. But perhaps if I keep up this yoga thing, I might not look three months pregnant anymore.

Downward facing dog

As a diva in training, I decided to do what the stars do and experiment with a little yoga. Let's face it: Faith Hill is 40 and has three kids and she credits her perfect body to the practice. I'm sure it has nothing to do with genetics, right? And how hard can it be? Isn't it just stretching and breathing?

Turns out it's pretty hard. I worked muscles I didn't know I had. But I made it through the class without quitting and, even more surprising, without totally making a fool of myself. My teacher (who, granted, took my five dollars), told me I was very coordinated. Hmm....

I'm still in a great mood after my good weekend. God's still working on me, friends, but hopefully I'm interfering a little less these days. Chalk it up to my mind, body and soul being in sync.

Party pics

For those of you who've been waiting with breathless anticipation, here are some pics from last night. We had a really swell time, and I enjoyed getting to meet some new people and spend time with friends. The weird thing is, I didn't know any of these people until a few months ago.

This is Terri (the birthday girl), me and Stacey (my pal Shane's wife)



My friends from leadership class: Tony, Terri, me and Shane



After the party last night, we got back to LB's house and he said, "I hope you know how much I value your friendship." Well, that's pretty clear, I suppose. Just friends. I'm trying to get used to that.

Party preview

I'm headed out to the birthday party. It's a "white trash" theme... so here's my outfit. More pics later!



(You can't tell, but I"m wearing a zebra bra under that white shirt... classy!)



My awesome drag queen shoes

If we were a movie

Last week I was driving somewhere, flipping radio stations, and I heard a cute song by that annoying Disney chick, Hannah Banana or whatever her name is. Anyway, the catchy little tune's chorus was something about "if we were a movie, you'd be the right guy." And while I'm thinking she as probably talking about a Jonas brother or some other prepubescent kid, I decided it would be interesting if our lives were like a movie. Granted, life seldom gives you 90 minutes from meeting to happily ever after, but wouldn't it be fun to have sweeping music accompany major moments?

Last night I had a total movie moment. A Cinderella walking-down-the-stairs-and-catching-the-eye-of-the-Prince moment.

I was at a dinner, sitting in a ballroom surrounded by well-dressed people. There are literally hundreds of beautiful people there, sitting among white tablecloths, china and crystal.

I looked up, and walking in the door was a really attractive man, and he was looking straight at me. I raised my hand in greeting, just wanting to say hello. He walked across the room to my table, leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You are the most beautiful woman in the room. I've been waiting my whole life for you."

Ok, that last part's a lie. He did not say that. But he did really say, "You look awful fancy sitting over here."

Cue the music, I'm gonna swoon. He walked away, and as I'm sitting there, my knees weak, I hear the girl next to me say, "Hey, was that jerkface?"

Oh, did I forget to mention that it was LB? Yeah, the Prince is from the South and can be a jerkface. But even Cinderella had a script. The rest of us sometimes have to make due with corny lines.

Something else I learned from Cinderella? One shoe can change your life.

12 hours 'til the non-date. Stay tuned.

The bag lady

This is one of my favorite things EVER...

Today was my friend Lindsay's birthday. Last week, the diva-in-training sent us a copy of her birthday wish list, which included a treadmill, a spa day, and a Gucci bag. Her hubby got her the treadmill.

And today, Ashley brought her a Gucci bag. A paper one, but still... a Gucci bag.

Funniest. Gift. Ever.

The olive branch

Being the vindictive, petty diva that I am, it's unusual for me to feel remorse about hurting someone's feelings. Oh sure, I regret not buying a great pair of pumps or eating something I shouldn't, but seldom do I feel bad about something I said. Especially when said person deserves it.

So when I get my chance for a parting shot, I should just take it then let it go, not feel guilty three weeks later.

Ok, so I was kind of a jerk, but he was a bigger one. Don't agree to a non-date, depart early and then not call me for six weeks. He deserves my wrath.

But I decided to be the bigger person and get some closure with a simple e-mail. Phone calls are too personal. A short, breezy, "hope you're well, sorry I haven't talked to you in weeks." I expected a reply in a few days with "I am well, thanks for asking." Instead I got not one, but two phone calls. I ignored the first one. Answered the second one.

I am so weak. Non-date #2 commences in exactly five days.

Someone take my computer away from me... the LB saga continues.

Weekend update

Evidently Jen's worried about me since I haven't updated (yeah... like she so regularly updates), so here's a synopsis of my exciting life.

I've had a sinus headache since Friday morning. Ugh. I tried to buy some Sudafed during lunch on Friday and Walgreen's wouldn't let me because I'm supposedly past my limit. Weird.

Amanda's been without cable and internet for several days, so she came over to hang out with me (and my lovely cable) all weekend. She went home a few hours ago and still doesn't have cable. Evidently she called Cox to report the continuing outage and some unsympathetic operator tried to make her feel guilty for having electricity since so many don't. She allegedly retorted, "Yeah, and there are starving children all over the world. But you don't work for Unicef or Swepco, so please fix my cable." Hahaha.

Now I'm doing laundry and watching the Super Bowl. Go Cards! Love me some Kurt Warner.